Corporate…

June 23, 2009 at 10:55 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , ,

हाइट

June 16, 2009 at 6:33 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,
  1. हाइट ऑफ फॅशन : ‘झिपवालं धोतर’
  2. हाइट ऑफ optimism: 99 वर्षाच्या म्हातारीने लाइफटाईम प्रिपेड मोबाईल घेणे.
  3. परमोच्च गुप्तता: कोरे व्हिजिटींग कार्ड.
  4. सक्रिय आळशीपणाची हद्द: मॉर्निग वॉकवरऊन परतताना लिफ्ट मागणे.
  5. आळशीपणाची हद्द : मूल दत्तक घेणे.
  6. चक्रमपणाची हद्द : कोर्‍या कागदाच्या झेरॉक्स काढणे.
  7. परमोच्च विसराळूपणा : आरशात पाहून “हा चेहरा पाहिलाय कधितरी, कुठे बरं …’ असा विचार मनात येणे.
  8. बिनडोकपणाची हद्द : काचेच्या दरवाजाच्या कि-होलमधून पाहाणे.
  9. डिहायड्रेशनची हद्द : गाईने दुधाऐवजी ‘मिल्क पावडर’ देणे.
  10. प्रामाणिकपणाची हद्द : गरोदर बाईने दीड तिकीट घेणे.

कांदे पोहे

June 15, 2009 at 7:24 pm | In Uncategorized | 1 Comment
Tags: , ,

माझ्या मराठी मित्रांसाठी …
कांदे पोह्याचा कार्यक्रम सुरू असतो.

मुलगा (मुलाला) : तुम्ही काय करता ?
मुलगी : आंघोळ हा! हा! हा!
मुलगा (मुलाला) : बरं ते जाऊ देत … तुला काय येतं ?
मुलगी : घाम. हा! हा! हा!
मुलगा (वरमून) : बरं तुला गाता येतं !
मुलगी : हो
मुलगा : मग गाऊन दाखव !
मुलगी : बाहेर वाळत घातलाय.
मुलगा : ठिक आहे. वाळू दे … वाळू दे!

त्यानंतर ती मुलगी बाहेर जाऊन एक मूठ भर वाळू आणून देते.
मुलगा जागेवरच फीट येवून पडतो … !!!

[मी जर का त्या मुलाच्या जागी असतो ना तर कदाचित चिरकालासाठी ऊठलोच नसतो आणि समजा चुकून ऊठलो असतो त परत कधी पोह्याचा कार्यक्रमच काय, कदाचित लग्नाचा विचारही केला नसता. असल्या अडाणी बावळट, मख्ख आणि मुर्ख मुलीबरोबर लग्न करण्यापेक्षा मी आजन्म ब्रह्मचारी राहिलो]

- अमोल मयेकर

Your Yearly Dementia Test

June 15, 2009 at 6:39 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we
grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it,
you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss
of intelligence.

Take the test presented here to determine if you’re losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve made your
answer.

Continue reading Your Yearly Dementia Test…

आम्ही आणि क्रेडिट कार्ड वाली कन्या !!

June 15, 2009 at 6:34 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: ,

आपण कुठल्या ना कुठल्या कामात असताना ह्या क्रेडिट कार्ड वाल्यांचा फोन येत नाही असे होत नाही. आधि मला सुध्दा संताप यायचा पण मग आता आम्ही ह्याचा आनंद घ्यायला शिकलो आहे, आणी आता तर आमची खात्रीच झाली आहे कि हे फोन आम्हाला तणावमुक्त करण्यासाठीच येतात. आपल्यालाहि ह्यातुन काही फायदा व्हावा ह्या सदहेतुने आमचे संभाषण येथे देत आहोत. (ह्यात कोणालाहि दुखवायचा हेतु नाही.)

Continue reading आम्ही आणि क्रेडिट कार्ड वाली कन्या !!…

बंड्या आणि शासन व्यवस्था

June 15, 2009 at 4:42 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

दररोज शिस्तीचा भाग म्हणून व्रुत्तपत्र वाचणार्‍या बंड्याने त्याच्या बाबांना विचारलं “बाबा शासन व्यवस्था म्हणजे काय हो?” “त्याच असं आहे -” बाबा विचार करत म्हणाले, “हे बघ, मी घरात पैसे कमवून आणतो. म्हणजे मी भाडंवलदार; तुझी आई हा पैसा कुठे-कसा खर्च करायचा हे ठरवते म्हणजे ती सरकार; आपल्या घरातली मोलकरीण काम करते म्हणून ती झाली कामगार; तू सामान्य नागरिक आणि तुझा लहान भाऊ म्हणजे भावी पिढी. समजलं?”

बंड्या विचार करत झोपी गेला. रात्री त्याचा लहान भाऊ रडायला लागल्यावर त्याला जाग आली. अंथरूण ओलं केल्यामुळे तो रडत होता. बंड्या आईला उठवायला गेला. ती गाढ झोपलेली असल्याने तो मोलकरणीला उठवायला गेला तर तिच्या खोलीत बंड्याचे बाबा झोपलेले होते.

सकाळी बाबांनी बंड्याला विचारलं, “काय बंडोपंत, कळली का लोकशाही?” बंड्या म्हणाला, “कळकं  बाबा. जेव्हा भांडवलदार कामगारांचं शोषण करत असतात तेव्हा सरकार गाढ झोपेत असतं. देशाची भावी पिढी मुलभूत सोयींसाठी रडत असते आणि या सर्वांचा त्रास फक्त सामान्य नागरिकाला सहन करावा लागतो!”

Funny Monkey

June 14, 2009 at 11:23 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

Dreams of Animals

June 14, 2009 at 10:56 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

MINDBLOWING: VIJAYAKANTH’S Dialogues in English

June 13, 2009 at 7:11 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , ,

1) U can study and get any certificates. But u cannot get ur death certificate

2) U may have AIRTEL or BSNL connection but when u
sneeze u ll say HUTCH

3 ) U can bcome an engineer if u study in
engineering college. U cannot bcom a president if
u studies in Presidency College

Continue reading MINDBLOWING: VIJAYAKANTH’S Dialogues in English…

China Military

June 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , , , , ,

Reason Why Other Countries don’t fight with China!
Continue reading China Military…

Corporate Language

June 11, 2009 at 9:10 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

Aapako malum hai Corporate Language Kya Hai?
The Corporate language

“We will do it”
means
” You will do it”

“You have done a great job”
means
“More work to be given to you”

Continue reading Corporate Language…

IT Twins

June 11, 2009 at 9:07 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , , ,

Someone in the IT industry gave birth to a set of twins.

Guess what they named them?

See Below for Answer….

Continue reading IT Twins…

Reasons Why We Indians Cannot be Terrorists

June 11, 2009 at 8:56 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

Reasons Why We Indians Cannot be Terrorists:

1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.

2. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

3. With free food & drinks on the plane, we would forget why we’re there

Continue reading Reasons Why We Indians Cannot be Terrorists…

Is This Magic

June 11, 2009 at 8:46 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , ,

विन्या प्रधान आणि फ्रेनी आजी

June 11, 2009 at 8:33 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

बसमध्ये तुडुंब गर्दी होती. विन्या प्रधान एका सीटवर बाहेरच्या बाजूला चेमटून बसला होता.
त्याच्याशेजारी सत्तरीच्या घरातली फ्रेनी आजी ऊभी होती. तिने विन्याच्या खांद्यावर टकटक केले,
तेव्हा विन्याला झोपेचे नाटक सोडून तिच्याकडे पहावेच लागले. तिने त्याच्या हातात चार बदाम ठेवले आणि म्हणाली, “खा बाळा,खा!” विन्याले चवीचवीने बदाम खाल्ले आणि पुन्हा त्याचा ’डोळा लागला’. पुन्हा खांद्यावर टकटक झाल्यावरच तो उघडला. फ्रेनी आजीने पुन्हा त्याच्या हातात चार बदाम  ठेवले आणि म्हणाली, “खा बाळा,खा! तब्येतीला चांगले असतात बदाम.” विन्याने पुन्हा बदाम मटकावले. असं आणखी दोनदा झाल्यावर विन्या म्हणाला, “अहो आजी, असे बदाम वाटत का फिरताय ? तुम्ही का नाही खात ते ?” तोंडाचे बोळकं रूदांवत फ्रेनी आजी म्हणाली, “दात पडले माझे सगळे! चावणार कशी बदाम?” “आहो पण तुम्ही खाऊ शकत नसताना महागडे बदाम विकत घेता कशाला?” हातातल्या बदामाच्या चॉकलेटांचा पुडा नाचवत आजी निरागसपणे म्हणाली, “त्यांच्याभोवतीचं चॉकलेट तर चघळता येंतच ना मला !!!!”

Examination Tricks

June 11, 2009 at 12:51 pm | In Uncategorized | 1 Comment
Tags: , , ,

Santa Banta Jokes

June 11, 2009 at 12:45 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , ,

Santa: I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can’t
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok

Continue reading Santa Banta Jokes…

How to ask your boss for a salary increase

June 10, 2009 at 7:55 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , ,

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!

Continue reading How to ask your boss for a salary increase…

A GOOD DEFENCE

June 10, 2009 at 7:36 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: ,

The wife came home early and found her husband in bed making love to a very attractive young woman.

Continue reading A GOOD DEFENCE…

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when….

June 10, 2009 at 7:29 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags:

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when….

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

Continue reading YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when…….

A Sincere Friend….

June 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: ,

image001 (1)

If Vijay Mallya takes over LPG DISTRIBUTION….

June 10, 2009 at 4:09 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: ,

After the phenomenal success of Kingfisher Airlines, have you ever imagined as to how will the Gas Cylinders be delivered to your home if Mallya were in-charge?

See for yo’self…….all husbands will stay at home & start cooking………

Continue reading If Vijay Mallya takes over LPG DISTRIBUTION…….

The worst PJ ever read

June 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm | In Uncategorized | 3 Comments
Tags: , ,
A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, “If I give you
one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?”Within
a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, “Four!”
The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three).
She was disappointed.  ”Maybe the child did not listen properly,” she
thought.  She repeated, “Arnav, listen carefully.  If I give you one apple
and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?”
Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher’s face.  He calculated
again on his fingers.  But within him he was also searching for the answer
that will make the teacher happy.  His search for the answer was not for the
correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy.  This time
hesitatingly he replied, “Four.”
The disappointment stayed on the teacher’s face.  She remembered that Arnav
liked strawberries.  She thought maybe he doesn’t like apples and that is
making him loose focus.  This time with an exaggerated excitement and
twinkling in her eyes she asked, “If I give you one strawberry and one
strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?”
Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again.
There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher.  She wanted her
new approach to succeed.  With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired,
“Three?”
The teacher now had a victorious smile.  Her approach had succeeded.  She
wanted to congratulate herself.  But one last thing remained.  Once again
she asked him, “Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple
how many will you have?”
Promptly Arnav answered, “Four!”
The teacher was aghast.  ”How Arnav, how?” she demanded in a little stern
and irritated voice.
In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, “Because I
already have one apple in my bag.”

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, “If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?”Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, “Four!”

Continue reading The worst PJ ever read…

DILBERT’S ONE LINERS…

June 10, 2009 at 2:12 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , ,
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble
putting on your pants.
12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper
tray and The blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented
The other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate
it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. – Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success…. Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither
does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive,
fattening or married to someone else.

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Continue reading DILBERT’S ONE LINERS……

A cool Ad !

June 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: , , ,

image001

Blog at WordPress.com. | Theme: Pool by Borja Fernandez.
Entries and comments feeds.